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To move in or not to move in
Dear Sherry
My boyfriend of five months has just asked me to move in with him. We get along really well and I have stayed at his house every day for the last three weeks. I even brought my parakeet and goldfish to stay there. Is it too soon? I want to be with him a long time, and I see this as the next step, but is it? He's already talked to his family, and they're excited. I haven't talked to my family yet or told my flatmate that I'm moving out. This is something I want to do; I just want to do it right and have my friends and family see it as a good event. Am I over-analysing it?
Nikki
Let's see: You're considering relocating lock, stock and barrel, fish and bird into your boyfriend's pad, and you're worried about giving up some brain cells before fully committing to this move that will forever change your life. Yes, I think some serious contemplation is in order before filling out change of address forms. Go with your gut, Nikki: Analyse away.
Here are some areas the two of you should consider alone and together to see if you're simpatico or at cross-purposes: How will you handle issues like money, housekeeping, privacy needs? Will you need each other's permission to spend a night out with the girls or boys? Hopefully it's the former for you and latter for him. This brings me to a point that should be obvious but may not be: Do you both agree about being monogamous? Can you handle disagreements? Boredom? Open toilet-seat lids and tights and knickers hanging over the bath? Being best friends as well as lovers? Do you see this move as a trial run for marriage or as an open-ended flatmate situation?
It sounds as if the two of you care deeply about each other, and that's great. But be aware that there's a world of difference between ‘staying at his house every day for the last three weeks’ and having it be your house too. So look before leaping, and when you finally heave your stuff over, make sure he's got enough space in the wardrobe.
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