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My partner's gone off sex. Does it mean he has gone off me?

'At the beginning of our relationship, sex was non-stop. But over the past six months, my partner seems to have lost all interest in sex. He never initiates sex and none of my efforts to entice him into bed are working. He says he still loves me, but I don't believe him.'
Tessa

Sexual desire naturally dips in any relationship. However, when desire completely dies away, there is something wrong. It's not necessarily due to problems in the relationship. Desire can fade through physical causes, such as illness or medication and mental causes such as stress or depression.

Sex action plan

Encourage a partner who's lost interest in sex to have a medical check-up.

If loss of desire has followed a life failure, such as job loss, then offer support. Once confidence returns, your partner's sex drive will, too.

Even if the love is still there, sometimes relationship resentment can mean that there isn't enough trust for lovemaking - couples counselling may help.

Remove as much stress from life as possible - cut back work, spend more leisure time, take regular breaks away.

The worst you can do is to pressure a partner who's gone off sex - that'll just add to their anxiety and make them less likely to feel sexy.

Read: Sex in Loving Relationships by Sarah Litvinoff (Vermilion, £7.99).

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