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Post-Christmas relationship repair
continued from page 3
Money's a worry
You overspent at Christmas and now you're both worried about how to pay your January bills. Money is one of the main causes of arguments in relationships. This is because people generally have different attitudes towards money and how they spend it. When money's short, your clash of criteria can cause strain. Avoid problems by agreeing a tight budget. Stick to it, however tempted you are. Once there's more money in the bank, things will be easier.
Avoid getting into financial difficulties next Christmas by planning ahead. Take time to talk through your attitudes on money - Corinne Sweet's book Stop Fighting About Money, Hodder & Stoughton £6.99, will help you understand each other and to find a compromise.
You argued over the kids
Partners can have very different ideas of how to raise a family and your ideas may vary according to how old your children are. You may have been in agreement about how to treat toddlers - but disagree about how to handle school age children. Each Christmas, the rules may be slightly different from last year and that may cause unexpected arguments.
It's vital for your children's sake to present a united front. They need the security of knowing that their parents are a solid unit and that they can't divide and rule. If you're in conflict, make your peace with each other and firmly agree on parenting strategies.
Sex was a non-event
There are two possible reasons for lack of sex at Christmas. He may have felt exhausted and the combination of rich food, alcohol and lazy days killed his mood for sex. Or you've got problems with your relationship - he's not in the mood for intimacy and you are.
If you're sure that your relationship is fine, then don't give him a hard time for not getting sexy over the holiday. Instead, take his lack of desire as a sign he needs a little more support - and that when he feels less exhausted, the passion will return. If your relationship is rocky, see your lack of sex as a major wake up call: book a session with a Relate therapist to sort things out. Call 0845 130 4010.
Next year, make time before Christmas for rest and recuperation. Take a weekend away in early December to recharge your batteries. Then, when Christmas comes, he'll have the energy to perform.
Money's a worry
You overspent at Christmas and now you're both worried about how to pay your January bills. Money is one of the main causes of arguments in relationships. This is because people generally have different attitudes towards money and how they spend it. When money's short, your clash of criteria can cause strain. Avoid problems by agreeing a tight budget. Stick to it, however tempted you are. Once there's more money in the bank, things will be easier.
Avoid getting into financial difficulties next Christmas by planning ahead. Take time to talk through your attitudes on money - Corinne Sweet's book Stop Fighting About Money, Hodder & Stoughton £6.99, will help you understand each other and to find a compromise.
You argued over the kids
Partners can have very different ideas of how to raise a family and your ideas may vary according to how old your children are. You may have been in agreement about how to treat toddlers - but disagree about how to handle school age children. Each Christmas, the rules may be slightly different from last year and that may cause unexpected arguments.
It's vital for your children's sake to present a united front. They need the security of knowing that their parents are a solid unit and that they can't divide and rule. If you're in conflict, make your peace with each other and firmly agree on parenting strategies.
Sex was a non-event
There are two possible reasons for lack of sex at Christmas. He may have felt exhausted and the combination of rich food, alcohol and lazy days killed his mood for sex. Or you've got problems with your relationship - he's not in the mood for intimacy and you are.
If you're sure that your relationship is fine, then don't give him a hard time for not getting sexy over the holiday. Instead, take his lack of desire as a sign he needs a little more support - and that when he feels less exhausted, the passion will return. If your relationship is rocky, see your lack of sex as a major wake up call: book a session with a Relate therapist to sort things out. Call 0845 130 4010.
Next year, make time before Christmas for rest and recuperation. Take a weekend away in early December to recharge your batteries. Then, when Christmas comes, he'll have the energy to perform.
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