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Post-Christmas relationship repair
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You dislike his family - and he probably dislikes yours too
Every year it's the same story - the in-laws drive you mad. No matter how much effort you make with them, you and your partner end up seething at each other in the kitchen followed by a blazing row after the relatives have finally gone home.
Most in-law rows are about conflict of loyalties and you're left feeling torn between your family and your partner. To successfully handle in-laws you need to understand that partnerships will only work if your first loyalty is to each other. So reaffirm that loyalty - say it out loud. If your partner won't reciprocate, don't panic. He may need you to take the lead on this commitment before he feels able to follow suit.
If you've had problems with the in-laws this year, just for once, plan to spend Christmas without your relatives. This will send out a strong signal that partnership is more important than family. If you feel they will be hurt arrange to see them the weekend before or after Christmas.
He drank too much
Your partner spent most of Christmas topping up his glass or down the pub. Alcohol then led to bad moods, bad moods led to rows and the whole holiday turned into a disaster. Heavy drinking is a sign of a man under stress. Christmas is a time to let go and indulge yourself, but heavy drinking could be part of a longer-term, more worrying pattern.
If he moderates his drinking after Christmas, then relax and concentrate on getting the two of you back on track. If he keeps on drinking then it's time for more serious action.
What to do for next year? You need to talk to your partner about this and get his agreement not to drink so much. You can help by not having alcohol in the house over Christmas and by encouraging him to drink low alcohol when you're out together. If he has a problem with drink, National Drinkline can help - 0800 917 8282.
You dislike his family - and he probably dislikes yours too
Every year it's the same story - the in-laws drive you mad. No matter how much effort you make with them, you and your partner end up seething at each other in the kitchen followed by a blazing row after the relatives have finally gone home.
Most in-law rows are about conflict of loyalties and you're left feeling torn between your family and your partner. To successfully handle in-laws you need to understand that partnerships will only work if your first loyalty is to each other. So reaffirm that loyalty - say it out loud. If your partner won't reciprocate, don't panic. He may need you to take the lead on this commitment before he feels able to follow suit.
If you've had problems with the in-laws this year, just for once, plan to spend Christmas without your relatives. This will send out a strong signal that partnership is more important than family. If you feel they will be hurt arrange to see them the weekend before or after Christmas.
He drank too much
Your partner spent most of Christmas topping up his glass or down the pub. Alcohol then led to bad moods, bad moods led to rows and the whole holiday turned into a disaster. Heavy drinking is a sign of a man under stress. Christmas is a time to let go and indulge yourself, but heavy drinking could be part of a longer-term, more worrying pattern.
If he moderates his drinking after Christmas, then relax and concentrate on getting the two of you back on track. If he keeps on drinking then it's time for more serious action.
What to do for next year? You need to talk to your partner about this and get his agreement not to drink so much. You can help by not having alcohol in the house over Christmas and by encouraging him to drink low alcohol when you're out together. If he has a problem with drink, National Drinkline can help - 0800 917 8282.
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