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Post-Christmas relationship repair

by Susan Quilliam
continued from page 4
Old problems reared their ugly head
You spent most of the Christmas holiday going over old resentments - his affair, your lack of sex drive, and your interfering mother in-law. However much you tried, the argument kept surfacing throughout Christmas.

Big issues can get buried if the two of you have busy lives. You may think they're resolved but you actually need to talk them through and get them sorted. The free time together over the Christmas break gives you the opportunity to do this.

It's important to deal with these festering issues. You can't sort it out alone; otherwise you would have done so already. Consider relationships counselling.

If you get the outside help this won't be an issue by next Christmas. If not, this issue will keep cropping up.

You've realised it's over
You had doubts about your relationship, but being together over Christmas and seeing each other in the context of family or friends has convinced you that the relationship isn't going to work. The Christmas break gives you an opportunity to step back and see your relationship clearly. If you both agree that it's over, then sadly the best way forward is to break-up. Try to work out your problems first, especially if one of you is desperate to save the relationship. Seeing a counsellor should help: call Relate on 0845 130 4010.



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