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Falling for a man older than her dad
Dear Sherry
I'm falling in love with a man who is 29 years older than I am. He loves me very much and will give me anything at all. All my friends are worried, thinking he only wants sex, but he's not like most men. He's one of a kind. He's made mistakes and has learned from them, and now he's taught me so much about life. We're in love - but my family would disown me if I go out with him. My dad's younger than my boyfriend. I know in a way that it's wrong, but I can't control what I'm feeling for him. What should I do?
Rochelle
It's obvious why this man will ‘give you anything’. Your youth, vitality and non-wrinkled skin are just as stimulating to him as a Viagra pill. And his appeal to you is understandable - he seems worldly, wealthy and undoubtedly has more idea about how to treat women in and out of bed than anyone else you've ever dated. After all, think of all the years he's had to perfect his relationship skills.
For now, it seems like a win-win situation for both of you. I say, enjoy yourself - but don't take this relationship too seriously. I quote from my friend Jan who married a man 32 years her senior. He has just turned 79, and she complains to me that going to bed with him - and he supposedly still has a voracious sexual appetite - ‘is getting creepy. His skin feels like an old man's’.
Of course, although he is still the wonderful person she married, he is an old man. Jan is resolving her sexual needs through affairs with men who aren't yet drawing their pensions. Don't misunderstand: Jan still loves her husband, but he's 79 and his idea of a full evening is retiring at 8pm. And every morning when Jan wakes up, the first thing she does is check to see that her husband still has a pulse.
So savour your affair as a sweet moment in time, an invaluable life experience. But keep in mind that not all good things have to last forever.
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