iVillage logo
Search iVillage
Relationships
Horoscopes
Entertainment
Beauty & Fashion
Diet & Fitness
Health
Pregnancy
Parenting
Home & Garden
Work & Money
Food & Drink
Travel
Good pud
Christmas pudding perfection
The youth of today
Are you scared of teenagers?
Re-doing the bedroom?
Start here for inspiration
Relationships 
  |  Couples  |  Relationship Problems  |  Heroin addict and cheat
Advertisement
Topics
Sex
Family & Friends
Divorce
Marriage
Couples
Splitting Up
Communication & arguing
Gay & lesbian
Infidelity
Intimacy & commitment
Living Together
Relationship Problems
Single & Dating
Community
Understanding Men
partners
Hot stuff
Get the Christmas party started
Visit Grotto Fabulous!
Getting enough sleep?
Photo galleries
Celeb odd couples game
Refuge: Early Warning Signs campaign
Sex positions to try
Jason Donovan interview
Celeb parent matcher
Newsletters
Sign up for FREE!




 
Promotions
Party central
From party frocks to invites and Christmas cocktails, we've got everything you need to throw a fabulous party

Heroin addict and cheat

by Susan Quilliam

question
My ex-boyfriend is a heroin addict and a cheat. He cheated on me for three-and-a-half years of our relationship and I'm trying to understand why. He used to say it was the drugs or that it was only an ego boost, but why wasn't I enough for him? The relationship was always rocky because of his addiction, and I would verbally abuse him because of this and the cheating. Do you think this might have contributed to his cheating?

He was jealous if his friends were with a girl and would always try to chat her up. Most of the time, it wasn't to do with sex. He got his kicks from getting a girl's phone number etc. Why does he do this, and how can he stop doing it?

answer
Cheating can be down to drugs - but lots of men who cheat aren't on drugs. Cheating can be down to a rocky relationship - but lots of men who cheat are in otherwise happy partnerships. It's much more likely that your boyfriend's own explanation is the one - he did it to boost his ego.

Why did he need an ego boost when he had you? The reason is simply that: he had you, he knew you cared and that he had won you round. He needed the ego boost of winning other women round - and by the sound of it, he needed to know he could pull.

It's hard to get over someone when they have hurt you as much as this guy has. It might help to know that almost certainly you didn't made things worse - it sounds as if this guy was trouble before you even met him. It might help to realise that if he was on heroin, little you could say or do would stop him going off the rails.
Delicious     Digg     reddit     Facebook     StumbleUpon