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I found his ex in his drawers!
I stupidly looked through my boyfriend's drawers when he was out and found that he has loads of photos of his previous girlfriend. We do not live together so I am unsure if I should approach the subject or just ignore it. But I don't understand why he still has these photos. We have been together 18 months and he must know he still has them lying around as he only moved into his house recently. He also said that he had put all the photos of his ex in a box up in the loft, which I now know is a lie. What should I do?
You feel, very strongly, that if a relationship is over, then a person shouldn't hang on to the slightest trace of it. But that's just your view, a very personal view. Other people feel strongly that it's ok to keep souvenirs - because they like to have memories of different phases in their lives and because they don't need to scrub away the bad times.
The likelihood is that your man likes to keep hold of memories of his past, like it or not he presumably had some good times with his ex, but she is still his ex. As much as you are concerned, provided that all the other elements of your relationship are healthy, then it is unlikely that he is looking to get back with his ex.
He sounds like someone who doesn't feel the need to destroy all the evidence when a relationship ends. And to be honest, I think that's a good sign - it's good that he is cool about his exes. It means that he isn't consumed by anger, bitterness and loss - he's freer to have a relationship with you.
If your relationship is unhappy however, and all the signs are that he's not committed to you, then I'd walk; but that's a good idea whether or not he keeps photos or his ex. Otherwise, I'd chill out; the snaps alone are no reason to doubt him.
If you have a similar problem with your partner, why not chat to other iVillagers on the Relationships message board. Take a look at some of the LIVE discussions taking place on the message board right now:
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