Relationships 

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Starting over

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The dating game
Once you've started to socialise again, you'll almost certainly start meeting potential new partners. However, you may feel so battered by your break-up that you can't imagine dating again. You may feel insecure about your looks, worried about what you'll talk about or panicked that you'll be asked to leap straight into bed. Don't worry, because all these feelings are natural. Here's how to cope:

• Looks: almost certainly, you look better than you think. Of course, one of the most attractive features in someone is confidence. The easiest way to let this shine through is to be yourself. Quite honestly, all the letters I get from men say that personality is more important than looks. So walk tall, look people in the eye, smile, and you'll knock 'em dead.

• Making contact: never regard a man as a potential date. Regard him as a prospective friend first. Be interested, ask questions and tell him about yourself. Remember that men, particularly if they are newly separated or fresh from a break-up, are equally vulnerable.

• Sex: don't feel pressured to have sex. Only make love if you want to and feel you are mentally ready. If you get nervous of what exactly to do during the act, tell him and ask him to coach you along. Be careful of getting involved too quickly. While you may want love, he may only want sex, and this is the often last thing you need if you're feeling emotionally fragile.

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