Starting over

Lizzie, 27, admits that, 'two weeks after Jim walked out, I met Paul at a party. I thought he was my dream man, but two months later couldn't imagine what I'd seen in him. It was a bad mistake and made getting out of that relationship another tough hurdle to overcome on the heels of a hard break-up.'

So how will you know when the right partner comes along? It certainly won't be just because you are in love or in lust with him. These are wonderful feelings, but you need real compatibility for the relationship to last.

Is he the one?
The key signs of compatibility are:

• You have fun together
  
• You respect each other
  
• You can rely on each other
  
• You have the same general life goals and values
  
• There are no deal-breaking issues. Is he a gambler, an addict, from a different religion? Is he married?
  
• Your instincts say he's right Finally, be optimistic about your new life. It may not seem as though you will ever find love - or if you do, that you will enjoy it. But the pain does pass. And, chances are, the previous relationship wasn't right - otherwise you'd still be in it. Remember that your life going forward has every chance of being a thousand times better than the one you've left behind.

  Resources
  Starting Again by Sarah Litvinoff
  Are You the One for Me? by Barbara de Angelis

  Are you recovering from a break-up? Have you found new love? Share your experiences with like-minded iVillagers on the Divorce and Separation message board.

    Related Links

  • Break-up bonus
  • Talk about relationships
  • Volunteering
  • Goddess quiz
  • Relationships Home
    Most viewed

  • Sexual positions for women
  • Sex talk
  • 69 sex tricks
  • Sex
  • Understand your man