Starting over

• What would I have needed in order to choose a more suitable partner?
  
• How could I have started the relationship better and laid down more structured ground rules?
  
• When things started to go wrong, what could I have done differently?

Getting out and about
As you recover, you'll start feeling more enthusiastic about life. Start being sociable again; be proactive about meeting new people. It may feel difficult, but it is achievable - especially with practice.

• Get in touch with all your friends. Never turn down an invite, however boring, because it might lead to a new and exciting friendship.
  
• Take up a new interest, sport or try volunteer work. It will help you stay busy and put you in touch with other like-minded people in your local area.
  
• Most importantly, set new goals. Write a list of your dreams including the things you weren't able to do in your previous relationship. One woman, Hannah 35, went trekking in the Himalayas as part of her recovery process after a break-up with her boyfriend of seven years, who disliked going abroad. Any inspirational goals including new travel plans, adventuresome activities like sky diving, redecoration plans - will help you get over your old relationship.