Communication & arguing
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How to spot an impending break-up
Dear Sherry
The behaviour of most men is inexplicable, but one thing I would like to know is, why can't they make up their minds? My ex-boyfriend and I were perfect for each other and we both knew it. We were on the same wavelength, and when we weren't we always worked it out. He told me I was all he could ever want, and then two weeks later he changed his mind and said he didn't feel the same way any more. That's the only explanation he gave me. He just changed his mind. I want to know what gives him the right to just change his mind like that? No warnings, no signals.
Perplexed
'Why can't men make up their minds?' is one of life's great mysteries, along with 'Why do tumble dryers always swallow socks?' Some things just happen.
But are you sure there were no signs? You neglected to mention how long the two of you had been together, or whether he was perhaps recovering from a heartbreak that would make him wary of commitment. Did he talk about getting serious, or did he utter telling comments such as 'If I was the marrying kind, you're exactly who I'd want to settle down with?' Did he introduce you to his family and friends, or were your trysts always one on one? What I'm getting at is, there's nearly always a sign of Trouble Ahead if we're searching for it, but often we prefer to wear blinkers.
As to your last wistful query, 'What gives him the right to change his mind like that?' You also had the same right. Unfortunately, budding romances aren't like new household appliances; they don't come with a money-back guarantee.






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