Relationships 

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Flirts on your turf
part two

We have now identified their tactics. So how can we stop these dreaded flirts? Which brings us to the nub of the problem: men.

When confronted, why do otherwise intelligent men say that they don’t know what you’re talking about?

Because it suits them.

They yearn for the old days when a woman’s job was to shore up their ego 24 hours a day. They live for flattery and approval and they don’t take any prisoners in their thirst for it. Who better to supply unconditional adoration than a woman they barely know? When you think about it, who else could?

My friend Jane and I were at a drinking club with her boyfriend Malcolm. A female colleague from his office came to join our group. She sat next to Malcolm and spent the evening tossing her long blonde hair over him like a braying horse. (Hair tossing and lip wetting are in The Flirts’ Manual, chapter one.) After a while, I said to Jane ‘You’ve got to put a stop to this. It’s awful.’ She said no, she was going to be cool about it, mainly because she could tell that her boyfriend wasn’t actively interested in this woman. He was merely the passive recipient of her advances. An hour later I said, ‘I don’t care if he’s not interested in her, she’s obviously interested in him and it’s time for you to give her a clear message.’

Jane nodded her agreement, affectionately took Malcolm’s hand and ledhim to sit next to her on the sofa. The hair-tosser got bored after five minutes and got up to leave. But before she did so, she leaned over the back of the sofa and kissed Malcolm on the mouth. Quick as a flash, Jane wrenched his head away, twisted it towards her, and continued chatting to him quite normally. Malcolm had no idea what had just happened and also carried on talking quite happily.

This was very cool behaviour. Very clever. But is it the right way to deal with a Flirt On Your Turf?

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