Flirts on your turf
part two

1) Be like Jane
Ignore it and behave as if the flirt is simply beneath your dignity to acknowledge. Don’t discuss it with your boyfriend. He will like you all the more for being so laid back and not making a fuss. And he will love the fact that he got away with something and was still approved of by you. In that way, his validation comes from you and not her – which is how you want it.
The con: you might not be able to stomach it.

2) Act promptly
Get him away from the other woman as quickly as possible and tell him you’re not standing for it. When he says, as he inevitably will, that you’re paranoid you say ‘Look, we’re never going to agree about this but you can plainly see that I’m very upset and if you love me as much as you say you do I’m sure you’ll want to put me at my ease. So indulge me on this one.’ This alternative is good because it allows him not to have to acknowledge his own behaviour but to address your needs instead. If he’s a fairly evolved man he can still feel a bit of a hero.
The con: can lead to a big public scene.

3) Stay silent
Do nothing at the time of the attempted seduction and give him hell afterwards. He won’t acknowledge his side of the bad behaviour but you can proclaim it at the top of your lungs for as long as you like. Tell him you’ll dump him if you ever see anything like that again or if he ever has any contact with this woman – and do. This option has the advantage of clarity.
The con: you might end up without a boyfriend.

4) Assert youself
Approach the woman yourself. Say to her ‘Do you know that x is my boyfriend? It’s just that I find your behaviour towards him inappropriate.’She’ll pretend she doesn’t know what you mean so leave her in no doubt about your feelings. But don’t get into details about why you think so and don’t personally insult her. If there’s a human being beneath the boob tube she will politely back-off.
The con: hard to pull off with style.

What would you do?
Have you ever been put in an excruciating position by ‘another’ flirt? Does your boyfriend insist it’s all harmless fun? Tell us what you would you do.

If you haven't read Flirts on your turf part one, go there now.