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The Dating Survival Guide - The Top Ten Tactics For Total Success

by Dr Pam Spurr
Negotiate the minefield of the dating game

Tactic 1: Be fit for dating
We all get knock-backs - where a man's not interested or doesn't ring again after the first date or two. Women with what I call 'dating fitness' have optimism and confidence so that 'knock-backs' aren't the end of the world. They know there'll be other date-opportunities around the corner; that his lack of interest didn't necessarily reflect personally on them; and that men prefer women who don't make too many dating 'trade-offs' - like dumping friends as soon as he rings - just to get a date!

Tactic 2: Be fantastic at first impressions
I'd be rich if I had the proverbial pound for every woman who told me, 'I missed a chance when this great-looking bloke came into my office and I didn't have the guts to even look at him!' By planning ahead with all my advice, you won't miss opportunities as they arise and will still appear spontaneous! Once you've got a date lined up, just as footballers visualise scoring goals, start visualising your impending date as being fantastic. Run it like a film through your head - the evening goes from strength to strength, affirming to yourself all your positive points, and being calm and confident because you've got yourself sorted early.

Tactic 3: Be confident - avoid the 'I'm unworthy' complex!
Confidence is critical to your dating success and men notice the dirty dozen signs of when a woman feels 'unworthy'. The tell-tale signs of unworthiness include: when a woman gushes about her past successes and how many men are asking her out right now; when without prompting she claims she's not looking for 'anything special'; when she's overly flirtatious with too much touching; and when she asks to be compared to his exes all too soon. Being confident is incredibly attractive and my advice is to at least appear confident - even if you're nervous inside!



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