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How to get the kisses you want

Give your love life some mouth-to-mouth resuscitation

A kiss is not just a kiss. How, where and when you swap smackers with your man says a lot about your relationship. A good kiss can keep you hooked, and a bad one can send you running.

Kissing is one of the most intimate things you can do with your partner. It's far more emotionally intimate than sex - that's why prostitutes won't allow it. Sex is just sex, but kissing crosses the line.

So if you're not getting the kisses you want, it can seriously affect the health of your love life. The same applies if you doubt your own kissing ability, or you've gone off kissing.

The good news is that kissing can be improved. If you and your man go from kiss-phobics to kissing with confidence, it will do wonders for your relationship and sex life. Kissing is an expression of love, affection and sexual attraction, so it's central to your relationship.

Follow these ten steps to smooching satisfaction, and you'll soon be getting the kisses you want.

1. Follow the kiss diet

This goes for your man, too. If you both have a thing for garlic, onions, cigarettes and other such aromatic delights, fine - you'll be less likely to taste them on each other. But if only one of you likes these strong flavours, it could kill your kiss-life.

Cutting down on this stuff is tricky if you love them, but it's even trickier to get your partner to cut back if you're not into whiffy kisses. How do you tell them without hurting their feelings?

Rather than banning smelly food and ciggies, make the alternative even more attractive. When your man tastes great, tell him so. After a lovely onion-free dinner, treat him to a passionate snog and tell him how delicious he tasted. He'll soon get the message. (Alternatively, find a man who eats the same food as you do. It will make dinner time easier, anyway.)

2. Tongues are not deep-throat weapons

Good kissing does not mean shoving your tongue as far as it will go. That's not kissing, it's common assault, and feels like being choked to death by a nervous eel.

You probably knew this already. It's more likely that your man didn't, especially if he's a bit inexperienced. Even some experienced men seem to think that choking a woman with his tongue is the 'adult' way to kiss.

Instead, a great kiss is a tease. You touch each other's lips softly and slowly, allowing the insistency to build. Tongues are there to be used, but with care - it's a richly sensitive part of the body.

The only way to cure a habitual deep-throater is to demonstrate, rather than to lecture. Kiss him exactly how you'd like to be kissed.

If he keeps shoving his tongue deep into your mouth, and you don't like it, pull back and say firmly, 'now let me kiss you.' Be clear about who's in charge. Tease his lips and the tip of his tongue, and make him hungry for more.

This should teach him that teasing kisses are extremely sexy, and he'll try to kiss you the same way. If he still doesn't get the message, just say: 'now tease me.'

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