Week 4: Personal Growth and Commitment

Spoil yourself

To keep yourself feeling good and worthy of a wonderful relationship, be nice to yourself.

• Treat yourself occasionally to some new make-up. Most beauty counters in the big department stores are happy to give you a free new look.
• Send yourself a text reminding yourself how wonderful you are! You don't have to wait for someone else to tell you this.
• Learn to say 'No' to something you don't really want to do and instead relax in a sudsy bath with some sensual aromatherapy oils.

Continue to challenge yourself in small ways

Just because you're making strides in opening up how you feel, where you go and who you meet, be careful not to become complacent. Dream up a little challenge every week or two to keep you out of that comfort zone. For example, take yourself out for dinner or lunch on your own to continue developing your self-reliance.

Where's the love of your life hanging out?

Picking and choosing dating venues is worth consideration. By now you realise that looking for love should be fun and enjoyable as well as taking you to new places emotionally. It's time to think about where you go to meet people who may share your interests. Here are some issues to consider:

• While keeping your mind open about the men you meet, if you know you go for quieter, thoughtful men, you're unlikely to find them in a nightclub. Nightclubs are great places to have fun but are not particularly good for finding love. Putting just a little thought into the venues you select will save you time and energy.
• It's the same for singles events. Think about what you want out of an event. Some are great just for the experience, like speed dating. You have to think on your feet and put your best foot forward to have a positive experience. However, if you relied completely on speed dating events (and there are plenty to choose from) this would stop you from meeting people in more natural settings. Some dating events can be incredibly contrived and can feel like a meat market.
• Once you've experienced various single events, try some night classes. You'll probably have a good idea of the things you thrive at. Do more of those and occasionally take yourself to an event that's a little different - a climbing wall, an organised debate, a workshop - and you'll have a good balance.
• Practice makes perfect. The more you go out, the better you'll get at chatting with men and flirting with them. Displaying good body-language and flirt signals should mean that men ask you out, but equally you should be prepared to do the asking. Most men love it when women take the lead!

What are friends and family for?

Research has shown that you're most likely to meet a long-term partner through an introduction from a mutual friend or family member. Some also say that you are more likely to meet 'Mr Right' at your place of work. Keep your eyes open at work (while knowing their policy about relationships and sticking to it) and don't be shy about letting your friends and family know you're up for dating.

Why they may not introduce singles

Sometimes the people who care about you feel embarrassed about suggesting that you may not be happy on your own. They don't want to imply that they think you're a lonely single. They also might be concerned that they make an introduction that doesn't work out, and other such little worries. If you let friends and family know you're more than happy for them to introduce you to suitable men, also tell them that you're looking for fun and friendship rather than love as that way you'll take the pressure off them. And you'll get those introductions!

 Week 4 Love Fitness Challenges

Life and love are unpredictable, so true man magnets need to stay flexible. This week's challenges will help to nudge you out of your comfort zone and into your confident zone, for good!

Have a fabulous time looking for love and enjoying your life as a single woman or with a new man in it!

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