How to survive parties

There is nothing like the season of goodwill to bring out the misanthrope in all of us. You either have too many parties to go to (and not enough liver capacity to cope with them) or you feel like a social failure because hardly any invitations have arrived.

If you’re in a relationship, you may start to wonder why all your boyfriend’s friends are nerds or why everywhere you go you seem to run into his ghastly ex-girlfriends. And if you’re single, you may be in despair that you have to brace yourself to go to parties on your own only to find that the effort simply wasn’t worth it and there are no decent men out there anyway. But the challenge for couples and singles, men and women is the same: to wake up the morning after and not immediately think, ‘Oh my god, what did I do?’

Here are eleven ways to survive the Christmas season with your dignity more or less intact.

1. Single women must not go to Christmas parties with any expectations at all. Do not imagine you are going to meet the man of your dreams; think, rather, that you might see some old friends, have a decent conversation or a dance. Use the party as an opportunity to show off your new clothes –your clothes won’t argue with you that you’ve let them down if you don’t pull – and to finesse your impersonation of a friendly, well-balanced,normal human being.

2. A single woman at a party is always at risk of being stuck with a bore.When you’ve established that the man you’re talking to is of no use in any department, say that you’re going to the loo. And then go to the loo whether you need to or not. The room will have rearranged itself by the time you get back and you can talk to someone new.

   

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