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  |  Single & Dating  |  The Dating Game  |  The highs and lows of holiday romance
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The highs and lows of holiday romance

by Susan Quilliam
continued from page 3
5. Will it be forever?
Many flourishing and happy relationships, particularly in the thirty-plus age groups, start on holiday. If you think you've met your perfect partner, your holiday romance could well be the start of a lifelong commitment.

But be aware that, however well the relationship worked while away, once home, love may fail. Things may have worked beautifully when you were in adjoining villas with nothing else to do but make love. But, back home, after the sun tan has faded and you find yourselves living 300 miles apart with day jobs to hold down, your relationship may be very different.

The solution:
  • Once you're back from holiday, start your relationship from scratch. Make your first dates friendly, with no expectation to have sex or make a commitment. Start dating and do what you'd normally do on a date - go to the pub, for a meal or an activity.

  • It's unlikely you'll be living in the same neighbourhood. So be prepared to cope with a long distance relationship.

  • Don't assume long-term compatibility. Back on home turf, discover the 'at home' parts of each other's personalities. Find out what you're each like in your jobs, around the house, with your kids. Try to hold back from introducing him to family and friends until you're sure it's going to work.

    6. Cross cultural romance
    If you pair off with a local, you can get to see the country you're visiting from an insider's point of view - and often have the holiday of a lifetime.

    But be warned - dating a local comes with hazards. Firstly, you may be just one of a series of summer flings for him. And, on the other hand, if you are both serious, be prepared for potential clashes of culture. You and your holiday beau might have deep-rooted attitudes that you don't share.

    The solution:
  • If the possibility of being just one of a series of summer romances bothers you, ask other guests or members of staff whether your holiday beau has had many other relationships over the summer

  • If the romance gets serious, don't lose sight of reality. Take a good, honest look at your beau and ask if you would fall for him if you met him at home. If the answer is no, then don't expect the relationship to develop

  • If you continue the romance after the holiday ends, arrange another holiday, but this time with him coming to visit. See him on your territory. This way you can swap notes about what your different cultures expect of couples. If you commit to him, make sure you are committing to a lifestyle that you feel comfortable with. Talk to his mother, sisters and female friends about what life is like for a married woman in their culture.

    Above all, enjoy your holidays.


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