Week 3: Action Woman Week

Once bitten, twice shy There's nothing less attractive than a bitter woman who drones on about that ex-boyfriend or husband who treated them badly. A woman who's been 'bitten' badly and can't let go of the past is far less likely to find love, because on a sub-conscious level she gives out the message that all men are rats and she will never be happy. Could you blame a potential date for being put off?

Top tips for if you've been hurt in the past

• Don't bring up the subject of your ex when you meet a new man. Save that conversation for a time when they know all about your wonderful qualities.
• If you've been hurt, take things slowly. You're less likely to be hurt again if you don't plunge into a new relationship head first and eyes closed!

The Princess Syndrome So your love life has been like a dessert; a bit barren and dry. Then a new man arrives on the scene - how exciting! There's huge temptation to keep your mobile on at all times - even the middle of the night - and to never, ever miss his calls.

I call this the Princess Syndrome; where you keep your life on hold waiting around in your Gilded Tower for him to ask you out. The last thing you should do is stop your life for a new man. If anything, you're far more interesting if you're a busy and fun woman, rather than one who answers the phone after the first ring!

Top tips to avoid being a 'Princess'

• Don't cancel plans if he asks you out spontaneously. Instead, suggest the next evening that you're free.
• It sounds like playing a game but don't pick up after the first ring. He can wait for two or three rings before he hears your wonderful voice!
• And if you miss his call, you don't have to return it within seconds. He can wait an hour or two and won't think you're always hanging by the phone waiting for him. That can get a bit boring and predictable.

Putting it on a plate You think you're an independent and liberated woman and think you can handle sex on your terms. That's fine - if you can. But many women tell me that what they are really looking for is romance and a relationship, not just sex.

Put it on a plate and most men will take it - even the good ones. Unfortunately, we live in the real world and the facts are that many men dismiss you as a potential girlfriend if you give it to them too quickly. It sounds somewhat Neanderthal of them, but it's true; survey after survey suggest men hold on to this old-fashioned attitude about women and sex.

Top tips on how to approach sex

• Don't use sex to get love. Be clear about what you want when you meet someone new.
• Don't be pressured into sex before you're ready. It won't be as sensational as you deserve and why should you rush?
• When you're ready, always practice safe sex.
• A rule of thumb for knowing that you're ready for sex on your terms is when you can actually talk about important issues with the new man in your life. If you can't talk to him, why would you want to share your body with him?

 Week 3 Love Fitness Challenges

Your Love Fitness Challenges this week will continue to take you out of your comfort zone. This is your Action-Woman week and I want you to think in terms of being a `Jane Bond? - an equal to James Bond any day!

Move on to week four of the Man Magnet challenge: Personal Growth and Commitment or return to the Be a Man Magnet homepage