A user's guide to rebound relationships

What to do

DO time it right
Meeting someone new is one of the best (and most enjoyable) ways to get over a break-up. But you need to time it right. The first couple of weeks after a painful break-up is not the right time to be dating men again.

Monitor your recovery during the weeks after a break-up. When you can walk to the shops without bursting into tears, it's a start. When he's no longer the first thing you think about in the morning, you're getting there. When you laugh out loud with your friends, you may be ready to start flirting.

DO socialise as a single woman
If your relationship was a long one, you may feel disorientated and odd being single again. But take a look around and notice all the cool, happy single people out there.

Single life gives you certain freedoms that you never had in a serious relationship: such as flirting with men and having the odd non-serious fling.

DO accept that a fling is a fling
No-strings flings are among the biggest perks of being single. Many a married woman would love a fortnight of 24/7 sex with a man they barely know. Just don't mistake it for something more serious, or you risk getting hurt all over again.

DO step back if it doesn't feel right
You don't know until you try. If you feel ready to meet new men, but when you give it a go you find it too painful and can't stop thinking about your ex, then step away from the fling and stop hurting yourself.

Enjoy your own company and your friends' company, and don't be rushed into being part of a couple again. You're a whole person, not an unattached half of a whole.

DO listen to your friends
If the women who know you best think that you're courting disaster by diving into the social pool too soon, heed their advice. They have your best interests at heart, and they may be able to see what you can't.

What not to do

DON'T be a bitch
Rebound fling time is your chance to 'have sex like a man,' as Carrie Bradshaw would say. But remember, men have feelings too.

If you just want sex and fun, and he seems to be falling for you, get out before he gets seriously hurt. This is your chance to be your happy, carefree self again, not to get your revenge on the male of the species.

DON'T use a rebound as a substitute for your ex
Psychologically you may still be living and sleeping with your ex. Imposing this mindset on another man is unfair to him, and unfair to you. It's not going to work out, and you'll both be left feeling terrible.

DON'T use a rebound to get back at your ex
Have some self-respect, woman! Only have a fling if you want one, not because you want to punish your ex, or lure him back.

If you seriously want your ex back, flaunting your sexual powers in public won't work. It will embarrass him in front of his friends, diminish his impression of you, and undo any chance of a future friendship with him. If in doubt, do all your rebound flinging well out of sight of your ex.

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