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Too text heavy

by Sally Ann Lasson

question
Dear Sally Ann
My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for over two months. The trouble is that the majority of our relationship takes place over email and text messaging. We can't seem to communicate face to face. Is there something wrong with us, or are we just a product of the 'Internet' age?
Zara


answer
Dear Zara
I don't think there's anything 'wrong' with your relationship, it's just very new. Presumably you don't have sex via email? I think these modern methods of communication are a nice way to get to know someone, but only if they're used alongside traditional methods - like going out for a drink and having a snog - and not as a substitute. What can happen, though, is that these electronic forms of communication can give you a false sense of intimacy when no real connection has been made.

There's a limit to how much you can share with someone on a 160-character text message. The telephone is a much better way of keeping in touch because you can detect tone and emotion much easier when hearing a human voice. Why don't you simply stop responding to the message lark for a while? It's a very addictive pursuit, but wouldn't it be awful to waste months text messaging someone who you turned out to be incompatible with face to face?

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