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  |  Single & Dating  |  The Dating Game  |  He stood me up
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He stood me up

by Sherry Amatenstein

question
Dear Sherry
Last night the guy I've been seeing for a while stood me up. He said he would come over at 8pm but never appeared. This isn't the first time this has happened. At 9.30, I gave up and left the house. Before leaving, I sent him an email telling him how hurt I felt and when I returned home there were no messages on the machine and no email response. I don't think it's too much to ask for a phone call if his plans change. This morning I got a curt response that turned the blame on me. He said I was irrational and that he thought our relationship was stronger than that. This really bothers me, but instead of feeling angry, I feel sad. I want him to apologise, but I also want things back the way they were before this all happened. Any advice?
maggie_e2000

answer
Dear maggie_e2000
Maggie, he's the one who should be feeling terrible, not you. He's the one who stood you up again, with no excuse and no apology. That he's turning it round and blaming you is further proof of his lack of consideration and character. Do you really want to be involved with someone who, rather than owning up to his bad manners, has the nerve to make you feel in the wrong?

Yes, he should apologise, but even if he does, do you really want things to go back to the way they were? Do you really want to go back to being at the emotional mercy of someone who is unreliable and rather uncaring? I hope you let his not calling and his attempt to pin the blame on you be your wake-up call as to the kind of person he is - in my opinion, not the kind of person who deserves to be your boyfriend.

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