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Should I tell him my real age?
Dear Sally Ann
I recently started dating a really nice man, but there’s one big problem – he doesn’t know my real age. It all started on our first date when he asked how old I was. I think it’s a bit rude to ask one’s age on the first date, so I playfully replied, ‘How old are you?’ He said he was 32, which seemed right but when he guessed I was 28, I couldn't believe it! I’m 40! When should I tell him the truth? My friends say wait until we know each other better, but I want to get it out in the open. What should I do?
Heather
Technically, you haven’t lied – you have merely withheld information. It is frightfully impertinent for a man to ask a woman her age and I quite understand why you reversed the question. I used to say things like, ‘why don’t you cut my leg off and count the rings’ as a deflection. But your new boyfriend can’t go on labouring under the misapprehension that you are only 28, indefinitely.
I’m sure you are very well preserved, but I doubt whether someone would really guess you to be that much younger, do you? I think there’s a bit of flattery mixed into it, in which case you have room to manoeuvre. Next time you see him, why don’t you remark in passing that you have always loved David Cassidy even though you were only six months old when he retired? Or that you remember the first lunar landing which you watched from the womb.
You don’t need to be specific, merely introduce the notion that you are older than he is. The sooner this is done the better, because then you can concentrate or more interesting things like: ‘do you want to go out with him?’ and ‘do you really like him?’
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