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Trapped in a love triangle

by Sally Ann Lasson

question
I have been attracted to a colleague for over a year now, and in the past few months we have become close friends. But my attraction is becoming almost an obsession - I can't stop thinking about him. Unfortunately, he is in love with my best friend. She likes him too, and I am so worried that they will act upon their feelings. Please help!
Sarah

answer
Fancying someone is not a talent. You don't get a prize for it, like winning a swimming contest, it's just something that happens occasionally. If you're very lucky it is mutual - but often it's not. Now, I don't believe that one person can have any meaningful feelings for another person unless they are reciprocated. Otherwise it is called, as you so rightly say, an obsession. You have projected your emotions onto your colleague and he not only isn't interested in you, he is actively interested in your friend.

It's tough, but it happens to all of us at some point. You only have two options: to keep your silence and keep your friends, or if you really can't cope, get a job somewhere else where you don't have to witness your friends possibly getting together. You certainly can't worry about what's going to develop because, frankly, it's none of your business.
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