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Letting him down easily

Dear Changy
Too often we women ‘hint’ and send a weak message in situations like this, mostly because we don't want to hurt anyone. The message becomes so diluted that the person we are telling it to does not know what we mean. In other words, you need to quite simply tell him, you're not interested. Sound calm, poised and clear. Do not lay blame. Simply say something like, ‘We’ve had a good time together, but I'm no longer interested in pursuing a relationship with you.’ If he pushes and asks why, try to keep your answer short and simple. Something like, ‘I’ve made up my mind’ may do the trick. If not, you may want to explain that you can’t see the two of you having a future or simply say that the relationship just doesn't feel right.

I know it's not easy to say such things, but think of it this way: Not being honest or clear is hurtful to the other person. If we give them ‘mixed’ messages, it can give them false hope. This will only lead to further upset. When you stop the cycle early, you're doing both of you a favour. Good luck.

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