Dear Sally Ann,
My boyfriend of six years just dumped me for my best friend. He did it over the phone, in front of his friends, and didn’t show any remorse. He said he only wants to be friends and then switched off his phone. It took him one minute. Do you think I should take my revenge? Please help.
Pepper

answer

Dear Pepper,
Your boyfriend sounds terribly immature, but I doubt he seriously meant to dump you. Had you two had a row and, in his anger, he made a point of chucking you in public, to show off in some way? And saying he was going to go out with your best friend sounds like the sort of thing someone says to inflict maximum hurt – which he has.

You need to clarify the situation. What is going on between him and your friend? What does she say about all this? After a six year relationship, he cannot expect to give you that ‘let’s be friends’ line – end of story. A proper conversation is the least you deserve, and a face-to-face one at that. Call him and suggest that you meet somewhere – soon. Apart from anything else, if your relationship is really at an end, both of you need to talk it through to understand what happened here. It’s called closure.

As to revenge, let me ask you a question. If your boyfriend means what he says, what kind of a person does that make him? And if your best friend were to go out with him, what kind of a person does that make her? What on earth could you do to them that is more ghastly than what they’ve done?

If the worst case scenario happens, you will have received a very hard knock, which will take you quite a while to recover from. But I would still rather be you than them. Revenge only brings involvement with people you are far better off not knowing or having anything to do with. There are nice people out there, I hope you give yourself the chance to meet some. You deserve to.

ivillage uk

Is revenge sweet?