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  |  Single & Dating  |  Breaking Up  |  Can I resurrect this relationship?
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Can I resurrect this relationship?

by Susan Quilliam

question
A month ago my boyfriend of a year split up with me, saying he thought he knew what love was and now realises he doesn't. I haven't contacted him but I know that I still love him and am convinced that this is meant to be. The frustration and pain is driving me mad. Do I try to resurrect things or is there a way to 'switch off' being in love?

answer
No, don't try to resurrect things. After a month of feeling bad about this guy you feel more in charge - and you're convincing yourself that you can make the relationship work. But you can't, not because you don't love him, but because he doesn't love you any more.

That's hard to hear. You want this man back, you're lonely without him, you're sure that things would be fine if you could be together. Or, as you say, you want to switch off being in love and just feel okay again.

You will feel okay again, in the end, when you've recovered from the grief and anger at the loss of your relationship. It won't be easy and it won't be quick - but it will happen, and if you learn the lessons of this last relationship and move on from it, you'll feel ready to love again.

It'll help to read Bouncing Back from Heartbreak by Gael Lindenfield, (£4.99, Thorsons).

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