Relationships 

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Can nice men be sexy?

He calls when he says he will, places you above his friends and your doorstep is awash with flowers. Is this the perfect man, or is consistent kindness simply boring?

Sadly, you just know that when someone is referred to as a 'Nice Bloke' they are unlikely to set your pulse racing. The sex appeal of reliable men became a hotly debated issue on the dating board when iVillager cmessenger posed her dilemma. After a four-year relationship with a man who betrayed her she finally met someone who gave her all the adoring attention she thought she craved - two weeks into the relationship, they had seen each other virtually every night, he was on the phone for a couple of hours on the evenings off and she was bored stiff: 'I usually go for men who are a bit of an a**e and my new one is not. I'm worried there is not enough excitement there as he is so predictable.'

The thrill of the chase
The members on the dating board understood the attraction of the unpredictable, sheepishly admitting that a capricious man is often sexier than a considerate one. anony23 confessed that 'in my dating days, going-out with unreliable men seemed the norm; the better looking they were, the more vain they seemed to be, the better.' Meanwhile, wrigleyman makes it clear that it isn't just women who fall for the villain of the piece, 'I can't pretend that I haven't been attracted to women who've treated me badly in the past - there's no right or wrong - it's just a question of taste.'

Perhaps it's the effort of constantly having to seduce your lover away from other attractions that make these liaisons appear more passionate. As another poster said, 'After all, we all like a challenge, eh?' Some people are simply addicted to this kind of relationship - the allure of the unattainable sustaining them through years of bad treatment. kanix, a self-professed nice guy, pondering the appeal of 'b*****ds' suggests that it is 'the challenge of hopefully being able to tame them and 'train' them to the way they want'. This idea is backed up by anony23's argument that dating a thoughtful man means 'we women can no longer have an excuse to get upset with him because he will rarely do anything wrong.'

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