Dear Sally Ann,
I've fallen in love with someone. I knew shortly after we got together that he would be going away travelling. Now that time has come. He says he loves me, but I have three years of college to complete so I can't go away with him. He says that in two years I can be with him but he wants me to finish college first. We do love each other very much and I know he will always love me, but I feel so depressed and am scared of losing him. No one has ever seemed interested in me before. I feel like when I get a good thing going, I always lose it. It's always me who gets hurt.
Katie

answer

Dear Katie,
You are in an impossible bind because if you reversed your situation it wouldn't make you happy either. If, for example, your boyfriend said he was going to cancel his travel plans, you would both be miserable. If you dropped out of college, you would both be miserable. He obviously wants the best for you, as you do for him. The only thing you can do is stick to your sensible plan and be brave.

Try to remember that you are not losing a good thing - it is merely being postponed. Is there any way you could arrange to meet your boyfriend on his travels? As a student you must have quite long holidays. That would give you both something to look forward to and make your separation a little less daunting. At any rate, keep in close touch with each other - letters are wonderfully intimate - so that you gradually get used to the idea that although this man will not be in your physical space he will remain in your heart and your head.

ivillage uk

In love with a travelling boy