The different personality traits of men

What he says and what he means

Once you're getting to know a man a little better you can start gauging his interest and intentions by what he says and work out what he really means. Sometimes with good intentions (and sometimes with not-so-good intentions) men will say something when they mean something else. They think it's easier on both of you to put things a certain way, or they want to spare your feelings or their own embarrassment.

For example:

• He says he'll 'call you soon'. Actually he means he's not particularly interested or he'd specify a window of time, like he'll 'call you in the next day or two' or even 'tomorrow'
• He explains that he's not been in touch because he's been 'very busy'. This means that, at this point, you don't factor very high on his list of important things. We're all busy nowadays but if you're really interested you'll text or e-mail someone
• He says he can't meet up with you because he's got 'so much on'. Again, if someone's keen they'll make room in their diary even to share a glass of wine or cup of coffee

On the positive side: If he texts you within two or three days of meeting you and makes a date, this is a positive sign. Even when a man gives clear signals of interest, too many women doubt every little action or every little word in a text. Keep reminding yourself that, to a man, sending a straightforward text, making a straightforward date, and getting on with it is the goal. He is not agonising over how many kisses to put on the end of his text message!

Actions speak louder than words The most important rule when it comes to what he says and what he means is this: does what he says match his behaviour? For example, does he ring you when he says he will? Is he on time when he sets a certain time? Does he show up with his friends when he tells you he's coming on his own?

Women are very good at picking up the discrepancy between what he says and what he does but don't listen to their intuition when it picks up these signals. Where do you think the saying 'actions speak louder than words' comes from? It comes from the wisdom that what someone does really is the most important thing.

Next: Find out how a man really thinks