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Your kids' reactions could end up surprising you, as Jack discovered. His teenage son didn't resent him - he was actually relieved! 'Before I met Diane, David saw me as a lonely guy,' Jack explains. 'On Saturday nights he'd offer to stay at home, so I wouldn't be watching a film by myself, even if I was happy to be alone'.
It's also important to talk to your children about what they can say to their other parent about the fact that you are dating again. Do you mind if they tell their father? They may want to, so talk about what you're comfortable with them saying.
Importantly, don't feel under pressure to date again at all. It's better to take time to grieve over the death of a relationship and work out what went wrong, than jump in too fast. Many men and women get into a new relationship far too quickly, with disastrous consequences.
That was certainly Diane's experience. An artist in her 40s, she started to date Jack just a couple of months after his wife had left him. 'I thought it was OK because we were in different cities and he was seeing a therapist, so we could take it slowly.'
To start with, he was very excited about her and wanted to create a new kind of relationship. But eventually, he returned to old habits, behaving in the cold, emotionally distant way that scared off his first wife. 'If you don't deal with what caused one relationship to fail, you'll take into the next relationship,' warns Northam.
Diane didn't have children but the more time she spent with Jack, the more she noticed that his teenage son, David, never lifted a finger. Jack treated him like a small child. 'He would cut up fruit and put it in a bowl for him to eat,' she says. David didn't even know how to make a sandwich, or look after himself in any way. Diane's suggestions about helping David become more independent were sharply rebuked - Jack didn't want to know.
Your kids' reactions could end up surprising you, as Jack discovered. His teenage son didn't resent him - he was actually relieved! 'Before I met Diane, David saw me as a lonely guy,' Jack explains. 'On Saturday nights he'd offer to stay at home, so I wouldn't be watching a film by myself, even if I was happy to be alone'.
It's also important to talk to your children about what they can say to their other parent about the fact that you are dating again. Do you mind if they tell their father? They may want to, so talk about what you're comfortable with them saying.
Importantly, don't feel under pressure to date again at all. It's better to take time to grieve over the death of a relationship and work out what went wrong, than jump in too fast. Many men and women get into a new relationship far too quickly, with disastrous consequences.
That was certainly Diane's experience. An artist in her 40s, she started to date Jack just a couple of months after his wife had left him. 'I thought it was OK because we were in different cities and he was seeing a therapist, so we could take it slowly.'
To start with, he was very excited about her and wanted to create a new kind of relationship. But eventually, he returned to old habits, behaving in the cold, emotionally distant way that scared off his first wife. 'If you don't deal with what caused one relationship to fail, you'll take into the next relationship,' warns Northam.
Diane didn't have children but the more time she spent with Jack, the more she noticed that his teenage son, David, never lifted a finger. Jack treated him like a small child. 'He would cut up fruit and put it in a bowl for him to eat,' she says. David didn't even know how to make a sandwich, or look after himself in any way. Diane's suggestions about helping David become more independent were sharply rebuked - Jack didn't want to know.
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