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Relationships 

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How to cut short a dismal date

Life's too short to put up with the Date from Hell. Here's how to escape

Dating would be so much simpler if you could send back a man like you can send back a restaurant meal.

Sadly, you can't call the waiter over and say: 'Excuse me, he's not hot enough, can I get a new one? Or I'll swap him for that bloke over there. Thanks.'

It's all too easy to end up on a date with a bloke you don't fancy. Maybe you met him online, where he gave great email and looked gorgeous in his photo - but in person he's got all the sexual magnetism of a wheelie bin. Or maybe you'd said 'yes' when you were drunk, or maybe it was just really dark at the time.

Once you're alone with him in Date Hell, it ain't pretty. An evening making conversation with a man you neither know nor fancy is like having to force down that cold restaurant meal. For four hours.

What should you do? Stay and pretend to enjoy the company of someone who doesn't interest you in the least? Or just leave, because life's too short to waste a whole evening of it on this loser?

If you ask us, the wise woman cuts her losses and leaves. You don't want to see this man again, so why worry about what he thinks of you? It's nice to be polite, but there's nothing polite about stringing a guy along for several hours.

Here's how to cut and run without losing face.

1. Just slip out the back, Jack

This strategy is quick and fuss-free, if a little cowardly. Simply slip out for a ciggie or a loo break, and don't come back.

You might hit a snag if the loo window is too small or rancid to climb through, or if your date spots you walking off and tries to follow you.

Even if you do make your getaway, this strategy can turn quickly from simple to arduous. He'll soon realise that you've done a runner. Even if he was bored too, his sore ego will make him angry - and you won't like him when he's angry, especially when he keeps phoning you to demand answers.

Getaway score: HH

2. Be revolting

It's easy to do. Simply fill your conversation with all those taboos you're not supposed to mention: those eye-popping things your ex used to do in bed, the trouble you've had with your bowels, the amazing arse on that bloke at the bar. Once you start, you won't want to stop.

Ideally your companion will run away, so you don't have to. Plus, he's unlikely to want to see you again. But it may backfire if he thinks you're cute rather than offensive.

Getaway score: HHHH

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