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Bad first date? How to pull it back

Getting a date with a bloke you've had your eye on for ages may feel like a victory, but the hardest part is yet to come.

First dates are delicate flowers. They can be killed stone dead by the merest mishap ? you arrive late, you drink too much tequila or you babble like a lunatic and fall over on the way to the loo. Fail.

None of these blunders would be a problem if you were out with a friend or long-term partner, but first dates are more like job interviews. Any little thing can do fatal damage to your chances, so you need to tread carefully.

But let?s not be too pessimistic here. If you?ve just had a bitch of a first date with a man you like, and wish you could go back and do things differently, you can ? sort of. We have ways to put your chances back on track.

1. Put it into perspective

Chances are you?re far more aware of your own flaws than other people are, especially a man who?s more interested in your boobs and whether you?re going to put out tonight than in the mildly embarrassing thing you just said. So relax about it.

If you can?t stop thinking about something you wish you hadn?t said, or the fact that you had bolognese on your cheek all evening and didn?t notice until you went to the loo, take comfort from the fact that it was far more noticeable to you than to him.

When you get home, switch your phone off, stick the on telly and get some sleep. By the morning it won?t seem half as bad.

2. Use it as an opportunity

A first-date pratfall is an excellent opportunity to show how cool you are.

Men can?t stand high-maintenance women who burst into tears at every little mistake. If you whinge and beat yourself up, he?ll correctly think you?re hard work. But if you can shrug off even the most disastrous evening with humour and self-confidence, he?ll know he?s got a catch.

`I tripped up the steps in a club when my date was looking,? says Abigail, 33. `I landed right on my face. Normally I?d die of embarrassment, but this time I sat down, laughed with him and patted the step beside me. We ended up sitting there snogging all night. Must try that again!?

3. Get a second date

If he is interested in you, a slightly messy first date won?t change that. If he is put off by that slightly messy first date, then his attraction to you clearly isn?t strong enough to go the distance, and it?s better that you find out now.

So if you like him loads but the date went badly, don?t sit around moping ? ring him up and ask him out.

Don?t ring immediately after the date has finished, of course. Have some dignity. Keep yourself busy next day, and ring him the next evening. Be light and friendly, thank him for a great date, and ask him if he fancies meeting up again. If he doesn?t, cut your losses and move on.

4. Leave it out

When you call, don?t `apologise? or whine about how you were such bad company. You?ll simply draw attention to it, and you might annoy the heck out of the poor bloke.

`I?d had a date with a girl who thought she?d talked too much about her dog,? says Dan, 29. `I hadn?t thought that at all. I like dogs! Anyway she rang the next day and was apologising like mad for it. It was a bit weird. It gets on my nerves when people say `sorry, sorry, sorry? for things I haven?t even noticed.?

5. Don?t beg

If the date went so badly that he doesn?t want to see you again, first remember that he may not have wanted to see you again anyway. Whatever you do, don?t beg for another chance.

Ringing him up and saying `but pleeease, I don?t normally talk about my ex husband all the time, I promise? is not going to change his mind. Desperation is never a good look.

6. Make `im laugh

If you really must draw attention to what went wrong on your date, do it with humour and brevity. For example if you accidentally sprayed a mouthful of curry across the table into his face, ask him if he fancies a vindaloo sometime ? and let that be the last you say about it.

7. Get it right next time

A second chance doesn?t necessarily mean you?ll get a third chance. So if you manage to get another date, resolve not to make the same mistakes again.

So if you talked too much during your first date, focus on being a better listener second time around. If you were too clingy or you wish you?d dressed differently, change it for the better on your second date. Some habits may be hard to break, but practice makes perfect.

8. Take a break from dating

If every weekend seems to be turning into a first-date disaster, take a break from dating. Meeting up with a new man every night of the week is a quick route to nervous, prat-falling madness ? and you?ll definitely get their names mixed up.

So stop for a bit, go out with female friends and entertain them with tales of your first-date mishaps. Those disasters may not seem so bad once you?ve turned them into winning anecdotes for your girlfriends. Carrie Bradshaw even made a career out of it.

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