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Group flirting
Dear Sally Ann
I enjoy being single and love going out and having a laugh with my girlfriends. However, I never seem to attract any men. My friends say it's because I don't make eye contact with would-be suitors and that my confidence makes me less approachable. Any tips on how to make myself more alluring without too much of an effort?
When groups of girls are out in a gaggle, men feel at their most threatened. A group of girls, laughing and having fun among themselves, generally make a man feel nervous about making an approach. He doesn't feel needed and, worse, you might all laugh at him. You, however, are in a strong position to make the first move. You have your friends there for back-up. You can leave the group to talk to a guy, and then - if you don't like him or you just need a break to compose yourself - you can return to the safety of the group.
The very best way to let a man know that you are interested in and receptive to him is to look at him. Eye contact, accompanied by a smile, always works. However, this is easier said than done and requires practice. Next time you go out with your friends, target a man. Look directly at him, then look away and smile. If he appears not to notice you, smile straight at him. It's a bit of an effort but you'll find it an engaging experience when you start to get a response. Make sure you have a few lines of chat prepared for when he inevitably comes over - anything will do, however trite.
As far as confidence is concerned, the problem may be not that you have too much, but that you have too little self-assurance. A successful bit of flirting practice - especially if you select a few guinea-pigs to work on - will give you a boost in the right direction. No matter what your friends say, the beaming smile of a confident person is irresistibly attractive. It makes people think that you know something they don't. You'll soon get the hang of it.
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