Taking the sting out of divorce

Mediation is neither a form of therapy or a process of reconciliation. Mediation removes the sting out of couples' conversations. It is a practical way of enabling couples to find their own solutions to their own identified issues. The mediator's skill is in helping the couple come to their own understanding by helping them to focus on the issues they wish to explore. Bruised by the divorce procedure, the neutral aspect of mediation is what couples find so useful.

The next steps - after mediation
Either during or after mediation, each person can consult their own solicitor, who can give them legal advice as to whether the understanding they are reaching is within the parameters of what they might hope to achieve in court. Their solicitors can give advice on what the other may be offering. Therefore any 'agreement' that is reached can be with the benefit of legal advice.

If mediation is successful, both people will emerge feeling that communication with their ex is possible - even if it is limited. A couple will feel they have reached their own set of 'solutions' - not those imposed by a court, or any other third party. They will also have saved an enormous amount of time and expense, which could be put to much better use.

After 19 years of legal experience with divorcing and separating couples, I feel that mediation offers a real alternative to those people who ideally would like to do it for themselves. Although it's important to note that for some people mediation is not appropriate, for example, where there is domestic violence.