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Taking the sting out of divorce
Separating from the person with whom you have had a long-term relationship can be extremely painful. When it involves deconstructing a life together that includes finances and children, the pain can become intolerable. At the same time that emotions are running high, and anger, resentment and frustration are the order of the day, you have to communicate with your partner - the last person on earth you feel like dealing with rationally.
Couples resort to the law in the hope that it will untangle their marriage and distribute to each of them the things they feel are rightly theirs. In fact, what often happens is that it is the start of an extremely costly and frustrating process. Couples who already are at odds with each other can become polarised by their respective legal advice and their own resentment. They are no longer arguing about the silver but about their perceived betrayal of their relationship: 'The other person will pay for what he/she has done to me.' The process is lengthy and drains both finances and emotions. Ultimately, a judge will impose an order that may not reflect what either of them set out to achieve.
Focusing on the practical
A mediator facilitates conversation between the separating couple that they would very likely find impossible to have on their own. An experienced mediator will do away with the 'emotional baggage' that cramps conversations between a warring couple and enable them to focus on the practical issues that need sorting out. Through mediation a workable understanding can be reached, whether it is in respect of finances, where the children will live or how much contact the children will have with each parent. At the end of the sessions, commonly no more than three or four, an 'agreement' can be drawn up by the mediator and given to the couple's respective solicitors. This can then become a court order if the couple wish.
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