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Love, second time around
With relationship breakdown on the increase, what's the secret to making a second partnership work? Learn from your mistakes and be ready to tackle problems
After a break-up you feel like you'll never find love again. But then you do - and it feels amazing. Sadly, however, a much higher percentage of second committed relationships fail than first ones do. In America a staggering 80% of second marriages fail. This is why even if you're not planning to remarry, you need to take care when you move into a 'second- time-around' relationship.
Leave the past behind
Only move into a new relationship when you're over and well clear of the old one. It's tempting to leap into romance on the rebound from a break-up, but, without realising it, you may choose your new partner unwisely. The distress that comes with relationship breakdown may affect your judgement, and you risk bringing baggage and upset from your old relationship into your new one.
Make sure you give yourself plenty of time to heal, and this involves going through all the natural stages that follow a break-up. Do enough crying. Get as angry as you need to be. Work at building your confidence back up. Work through the natural grief, fury and depression, in order to feel ready to love again - without the baggage.
Make sure you learn the lessons that have come out of your old relationship. Think through how you met, how you chose to be with each other, how your love developed, how you handled problems. Think about what went wrong and why. Once you know this, you'll be far better placed to make a second relationship work.
After a break-up you feel like you'll never find love again. But then you do - and it feels amazing. Sadly, however, a much higher percentage of second committed relationships fail than first ones do. In America a staggering 80% of second marriages fail. This is why even if you're not planning to remarry, you need to take care when you move into a 'second- time-around' relationship.
Leave the past behind
Only move into a new relationship when you're over and well clear of the old one. It's tempting to leap into romance on the rebound from a break-up, but, without realising it, you may choose your new partner unwisely. The distress that comes with relationship breakdown may affect your judgement, and you risk bringing baggage and upset from your old relationship into your new one.
Make sure you give yourself plenty of time to heal, and this involves going through all the natural stages that follow a break-up. Do enough crying. Get as angry as you need to be. Work at building your confidence back up. Work through the natural grief, fury and depression, in order to feel ready to love again - without the baggage.
Make sure you learn the lessons that have come out of your old relationship. Think through how you met, how you chose to be with each other, how your love developed, how you handled problems. Think about what went wrong and why. Once you know this, you'll be far better placed to make a second relationship work.
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