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Love, second time around
continued from page 1
Get to know your new love
It's particularly important to really get to know the person you are committing to in a second relationship, because of what both of you are bringing more into the situation: more age, more experience, more history - and more potential for problems.
Don't just judge your new partner on surface details like his looks, the sex and his lifestyle. Talk about how you feel, how you think and what you want out of life? Make sure you discuss not only your past relationships and what went wrong, but your early life and how this has shaped you into the person you are.
These conversations don't need to happen on the first date, but when a real sense of commitment starts to form, you do need to talk these issues through. It'll not only help you to understand each other better, but by talking intimately about your experiences and feelings you'll naturally feel closer, too.
A final tip: Don't treat these conversations as normal chats, with each of you chipping in and arguing. You'll need more emotional space than usual to talk these issues through. Take it in turns to talk. Give each other the space to express your feelings.
Get to know your new love
It's particularly important to really get to know the person you are committing to in a second relationship, because of what both of you are bringing more into the situation: more age, more experience, more history - and more potential for problems.
Don't just judge your new partner on surface details like his looks, the sex and his lifestyle. Talk about how you feel, how you think and what you want out of life? Make sure you discuss not only your past relationships and what went wrong, but your early life and how this has shaped you into the person you are.
These conversations don't need to happen on the first date, but when a real sense of commitment starts to form, you do need to talk these issues through. It'll not only help you to understand each other better, but by talking intimately about your experiences and feelings you'll naturally feel closer, too.
A final tip: Don't treat these conversations as normal chats, with each of you chipping in and arguing. You'll need more emotional space than usual to talk these issues through. Take it in turns to talk. Give each other the space to express your feelings.
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