Advertisement
Topics
Hot stuff
Newsletters
Promotions
Party central
From party frocks to invites and Christmas cocktails, we've got everything you need to throw a fabulous party
From party frocks to invites and Christmas cocktails, we've got everything you need to throw a fabulous party
Love, second time around
continued from page 4
Problem spots
Some problems crop up again and again. Here are four of the most common problem spots, and some advice on how you can handle them:
1. Blending lifestyles
The older you are, the harder it is to move into someone else's life or have them move into yours. Be prepared to accommodate. Allow each of you to have 'private space'; if possible, your own room where you can have things your way.
Allow each other to spend time alone each day. Make sure you do things together - but that you also have the opportunity to do things independently.
Be respectful and tolerant of each other's habits. If you like to have breakfast in bed on a Sunday but your partner rises early to go for a jog, take it in turns to keep each other company - even if that means you have to go for a run!
2: Ex problems
It can be tricky to cope if an ex is still part of your partner's life. The secret is to remember that you have split from your respective exes for very good reasons and have now chosen to be with each other. The ex, however difficult and awkward, is history. Put your jealousy to one side and concentrate on developing a united front. Make a deal with your partner about how you're going to handle your exes. If you sense that, actually, you or your partner are still not entirely over an ex, then you will have to face up to the fact that you are not truly committed to your current relationship.
3: Coping with kids
The secret to avoiding difficulty is the same secret that underpins all strong relationships - communication. Talk about how you are going to handle your respective children. Discuss your expectations and, in particular, how you're going to handle disciplining your kids. Talk to your children. The more they feel involved in your commitment, the more they will feel able to support it.
4: Repeating the same mistakes
If you find yourself slipping into the same horrendous situations with your new love as you did with your old one, don't panic. It's not surprising you do that - after all, there's one major unchanging factor: you! Of course you'll fall into the same traps and meet the same challenges. But it is possible to change.
As soon as you spot signs of trouble, get help. It's much easier to get things sorted if you catch it early. The couples counselling organisation Relate is your best starting point: call 0845 130 4010 and fix an appointment.
Problem spots
Some problems crop up again and again. Here are four of the most common problem spots, and some advice on how you can handle them:
1. Blending lifestyles
The older you are, the harder it is to move into someone else's life or have them move into yours. Be prepared to accommodate. Allow each of you to have 'private space'; if possible, your own room where you can have things your way.
Allow each other to spend time alone each day. Make sure you do things together - but that you also have the opportunity to do things independently.
Be respectful and tolerant of each other's habits. If you like to have breakfast in bed on a Sunday but your partner rises early to go for a jog, take it in turns to keep each other company - even if that means you have to go for a run!
2: Ex problems
It can be tricky to cope if an ex is still part of your partner's life. The secret is to remember that you have split from your respective exes for very good reasons and have now chosen to be with each other. The ex, however difficult and awkward, is history. Put your jealousy to one side and concentrate on developing a united front. Make a deal with your partner about how you're going to handle your exes. If you sense that, actually, you or your partner are still not entirely over an ex, then you will have to face up to the fact that you are not truly committed to your current relationship.
3: Coping with kids
The secret to avoiding difficulty is the same secret that underpins all strong relationships - communication. Talk about how you are going to handle your respective children. Discuss your expectations and, in particular, how you're going to handle disciplining your kids. Talk to your children. The more they feel involved in your commitment, the more they will feel able to support it.
4: Repeating the same mistakes
If you find yourself slipping into the same horrendous situations with your new love as you did with your old one, don't panic. It's not surprising you do that - after all, there's one major unchanging factor: you! Of course you'll fall into the same traps and meet the same challenges. But it is possible to change.
As soon as you spot signs of trouble, get help. It's much easier to get things sorted if you catch it early. The couples counselling organisation Relate is your best starting point: call 0845 130 4010 and fix an appointment.
previous | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
printer friendly
send to a friend
RATE IT
Delicious
Digg
reddit
Facebook
StumbleUpon
iVillage Features
Message Boards
Pregnancy & Baby |
Parenting |
Health |
Diet & Fitness |
Beauty & Fashion|
Relationships |
Home & Garden |
Food & Drink |
Work & Career |
Entertainment
Horoscopes| Message Boards | Quizzes | Newsletters | Join
Horoscopes| Message Boards | Quizzes | Newsletters | Join
© iVillage Limited 2000-2008. All rights reserved. | © iVillage inc. 1995-2008. All rights reserved.
iVillage Ltd is a UK company registered in England & Wales (3837269) at 80-110 New Oxford Street, London WC1 1HB
iVillage Ltd is a UK company registered in England & Wales (3837269) at 80-110 New Oxford Street, London WC1 1HB