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Break-up to make-up
continued from page 2
While you are apart
Separation is not about preparing yourself for divorce. If divorce is certain, see a solicitor and get things moving. Separation is about getting perspective on the situation and finding out what is the best way forward for the relationship. When you separate, don't concentrate on staying busy and filling your days with frenetic action. Take some time out to think.
Take action to develop yourself. Your relationship may have hit problems because you are going through a crisis or life change - or because old distresses from your past are making you difficult to live with now. So get support to build your self-esteem and ability to give to others. Read Loving Yourself, Loving Another by Julia Cole (Vermilion, £7.99).
Take action to work on your relationship. You can do this by using the times you meet your partner to talk things through and renegotiate what you want. But just as importantly, you need to develop your relationship skills. Read Staying Together by Susan Quilliam (Vermilion, £9.99).
Get counselling - you have a much better chance of making things work if you get expert help. Log on to Relate's website at www.relate.co.uk for details of counsellors in your area.
While you are apart
Separation is not about preparing yourself for divorce. If divorce is certain, see a solicitor and get things moving. Separation is about getting perspective on the situation and finding out what is the best way forward for the relationship. When you separate, don't concentrate on staying busy and filling your days with frenetic action. Take some time out to think.
Take action to develop yourself. Your relationship may have hit problems because you are going through a crisis or life change - or because old distresses from your past are making you difficult to live with now. So get support to build your self-esteem and ability to give to others. Read Loving Yourself, Loving Another by Julia Cole (Vermilion, £7.99).
Take action to work on your relationship. You can do this by using the times you meet your partner to talk things through and renegotiate what you want. But just as importantly, you need to develop your relationship skills. Read Staying Together by Susan Quilliam (Vermilion, £9.99).
Get counselling - you have a much better chance of making things work if you get expert help. Log on to Relate's website at www.relate.co.uk for details of counsellors in your area.
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