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Love and marriage... and divorce?
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Those months were very difficult, only made worse when his stay was extended. We were still relative newlyweds and had barely had a chance to forge a life or home together. When we finished medical school I thought that the hard slog was over; we were trained doctors and were over the worst of it. In fact this was just the beginning, we were so young, and still had lots of decisions to make about our individual lives, let alone our lives together. Had I known this, I don't think I would have married Julian.
We decided to separate but found we would briefly get back together only to argue and get frustrated with one another again. I knew he hoped for more work in the US and it made me angry that he was choosing his job over me. We didn't seem to share the same dreams anymore, and had become like quarrelling siblings, not lovers. Eventually we sat down and decided to call it quits and get divorced.
The actual divorce was relatively painless and straightforward. There were no children, hardly any division of assets, and we had separate homes. The hardest part was that it seemed to take so long. He was in the US, so it was hard to pin him down for signatures. Plus, after we got the decree nisi, we had to prove that we had been separated for two years. Finally we got the decree absolute, which is the final statement that says you're legally divorced.
I've been a divorcee for three years now and I am pretty much the only one of my friends who has been married, let alone divorced! People marry so much later now, so when you've been married and divorced, all before your 30th birthday, you stick out a bit. I'm in a new relationship now (with a non-doctor) and initially he was a little taken back that I was a divorcee. I think initially men see you as someone who may try to corner them into marriage, when this couldn't be further from the truth. After my marriage, I spent quite a while dating inappropriate men, something I should probably have done in my early 20s, when you can get away with it, instead of getting married.
Those months were very difficult, only made worse when his stay was extended. We were still relative newlyweds and had barely had a chance to forge a life or home together. When we finished medical school I thought that the hard slog was over; we were trained doctors and were over the worst of it. In fact this was just the beginning, we were so young, and still had lots of decisions to make about our individual lives, let alone our lives together. Had I known this, I don't think I would have married Julian.
We decided to separate but found we would briefly get back together only to argue and get frustrated with one another again. I knew he hoped for more work in the US and it made me angry that he was choosing his job over me. We didn't seem to share the same dreams anymore, and had become like quarrelling siblings, not lovers. Eventually we sat down and decided to call it quits and get divorced.
The actual divorce was relatively painless and straightforward. There were no children, hardly any division of assets, and we had separate homes. The hardest part was that it seemed to take so long. He was in the US, so it was hard to pin him down for signatures. Plus, after we got the decree nisi, we had to prove that we had been separated for two years. Finally we got the decree absolute, which is the final statement that says you're legally divorced.
I've been a divorcee for three years now and I am pretty much the only one of my friends who has been married, let alone divorced! People marry so much later now, so when you've been married and divorced, all before your 30th birthday, you stick out a bit. I'm in a new relationship now (with a non-doctor) and initially he was a little taken back that I was a divorcee. I think initially men see you as someone who may try to corner them into marriage, when this couldn't be further from the truth. After my marriage, I spent quite a while dating inappropriate men, something I should probably have done in my early 20s, when you can get away with it, instead of getting married.
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