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Excluded by his friends
I have been with my boyfriend for six months and get on with all his friends except for one couple who always ignore me. Yesterday they invited my boyfriend to make up numbers on a holiday they were going on but didn't ask me. I was angry and upset. My boyfriend says they live in their own little world of self-importance and ignore everyone, and that I shouldn't take it personally. But it makes me wonder why he is friends with such people. He has known the bloke for 20 years so the friendship is unlikely to fold. How do I find a way to tolerate them?
Up to now, the two of them have probably kept their relationship more or less together because your man has never truly fallen in love and become committed to anyone. But when you arrived on the scene, when it became clear that your boyfriend really cared for you, when it was obvious that you weren't going to go away, his friend started to worry. So he and his girlfriend tried to pretend that you didn't exist. Silly them.
How should you handle it? Don't make this a big test of your man's loyalty - he's already proved he's loyal to you by criticising his mate and standing by you. If you start criticising him for the friendship, or push him to cut them out of his life, then it will just become an issue between you.
Instead, enjoy your man's other friends. Be civil to these two. And remember that the only reason they find you hard to handle is that your boyfriend thinks you're wonderful. In time they'll either relax, or he'll get tired of their behaviour and drift away. Either way, you win.
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