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I'm so bored with my boyfriend
Dear Sally Ann
I'm fed up with my relationship. Everything is the same. We do the same old things, see the same old people, have the same old sex and now I even feel like we have the same old conversations! I'm sick of it. We are stuck in this routine of sameyness and I don't know how to change it. He is a good man though and I don't want us to break-up, I just need to change the routine. When we got together it was amazing and now a year on it's deadly. Everyone says, that's the way it is, but I don't want to just get fat and watch TV. How can I make our relationship interesting again?
T
Oh, you poor bored girl! Same old routine, same old conversations, same old sex. Well, at least you're still having sex. After a year, a relationship inevitably becomes samey. That's why we have them, a bit of a rest after the turbulent drama of dating. Boredom is an enormous part of life; it may even be our single biggest emotion. Doesn'tjust the idea of washing your hair - again - make you want to scream withtedium?
You say your boyfriend is a good man. I think any woman who can say thatafter a longish period of time is on a winning ticket. Also, your letter isall about how bored you are rather than how boring he is. This is very goodtoo.
You can make your relationship interesting again by doing interesting things together and separately. Presumably, this man of yours doesn't tieyou to the sofa and make you watch TV all the time? There is an off switch- turn it off and play drafts. Drafts is a very exciting game and bringsout the worst in everyone. Go out to dinner. Go to the cinema. It'spossible, occasionally, to go to a museum for half an hour and feelculturally satisfied for months. And if he won't go with you, go with yourfriends or go on your own.
Try and do some of the things you'd do if you didn't have a boyfriend atall. Life doesn't finish with the acquisition of a partner, it merelycontinues in tangent. Have you talked to him about feeling bored? Men areoften rather quiet on this subject until they surprise you with a boringold new girlfriend and you're lumbered with a boring old bust-up. At thatpoint, they become rather riveting, which is just how they like it.
If you've got a dilemma for Dating Doyenne, 
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