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Lonely this Christmas
Christmas can turn out to be the most desolate period for many. Caro Handley offers invaluable tips on how to survive it
There are few things in life more awful than feeling empty and alone at Christmas. The relentless pressure to be jolly, to feel happy and be surrounded by people, leaves many people feeling isolated and miserable at this time of year.
There are plenty of reasons why you might feel lonely at Christmas. Loss is the primary one - the loss of someone you love, who has either died or left you, is bad enough at any other time, but very agonising at Christmas. Being alone is another. You might be new in town, far from your family and friends, or the kind of person who leads an isolated existence and has few close contacts with others.
There may be times when this suits you, but Christmas isn't likely to be one of them. Feeling that you don't fit in is a third reason. If your only choice is to spend Christmas with people who are very different from you, then it can dent your self-esteem and leave you feeling lonely, even in the middle of a crowd.
So what do you do?
No matter how low you feel and how lonely you are, there are always things that you can do to change your situation and the way you feel. Even though it may not feel like it, you always have choices.
Your Inner Core of Steel
The first thing to remember is your ICS - your Inner Core of Steel. We all have one, and it gets us through the worst situations. It's the part of us that copes, no matter what. Sometimes we lose touch with it, but it's still there. So if you feel helpless, defeated, hurt or abandoned, turn to the best ally you will ever have, the one person who will always be with you - yourself.
Never underestimate yourself. Be guided and supported by the wisdom that you have inside you. This part of you always knows what you need, and has the answers you're looking for. If you feel you don't know how to cope say to yourself: 'What if I did know. What would I do then?' Often the answer will become clear.
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