Secondly, remember that feelings follow behaviour. That is, when you behave in a certain way, particular feelings will result. For instance, if you smile, even a forced smile, it has a chemical effect on your brain and will make you feel happier.

What could you do differently to create happier feelings? If you're alone and would like company, if you don't know anyone to join, volunteer to help others at one of the many centres set up for the homeless at Christmas.

Generous spirits

The third thing to remember is that other people care. There are many kind and generous people, who are waiting out there to offer friendship, interest and company. If you choose to stay isolated, then it is your conscious decision to keep yourself away from them.

If you're not sure how you can find a kind friend, you may already know some. You may have been invited to spend Christmas with others, but have turned it down because you felt so low. Change your mind, call them and say yes.

Hotels are great places to meet people at Christmas. If you can afford to go to a small hotel, which is celebrating Christmas, you will always find other people there, who are also alone at this time of year and are happy to share it with you.

If you can't face going out then call a helpline. You don't have to be suicidal or desperate to talk to the Samaritans - 24-hour helpline: 0845 790 9090. You'll find a friendly, compassionate voice at the other end, and can talk for as long as you want to.

One more reminder

Finally, remember that everything will pass. Nothing stays the same, life moves on and it's the worst moments that make us grow, spiritually and emotionally. The low points are always balanced by higher ones. When you are low, joy is always just around the corner.

However you feel at Christmas, happy or sad, talk to other iVillage members.

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Lonely this Christmas

Think happy

Generous spirits

One more reminder