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8 steps to self-confidence

by Susan Quilliam
continued from page 3
7. I’m confident in some areas, but I feel unsure in others
If there’s one thing you can do with confidence, it’s being able to transfer it across to ‘nervous’ areas.

So when you’re facing a new situation, imagine it’s one you’re familiar with. When you meet people you don’t know, imagine they are people you know and like. If you know you can be self-assured about some things, you can imagine being self-assured about everything.

8. If something feels too big for me, I just collapse under the weight
What’s the best way to eat an elephant? One bite at a time. The moral here is it’s usually easier to do things in small chunks. So break down a project into smaller goals. Or try a ‘practice run’ and then build up from there.

There is an exception to this ‘one bite at a time’ approach. Sometimes, doing the outrageously risky can boost your confidence – because it makes everything else seems easy. My friend Barbara decided to do a charity walk – up Mount Kilimanjaro. She not only raised over £4000. She also gained enormous confidence in her own ability.

A final tip
All these routes to confidence involve you alone. But other people can help, too. So find a mentor – someone who is confident in the area you’re not. Hang out and learn from their knowledge, their experience. They’ll be flattered and you’ll gain useful tips.

If you feel crippled by your lack of confidence, get professional advice. Contact The National Phobics Society for help with with social anxiety disorders and information on self-help programmes and counselling.
National helpline on 0870 7700 456 (Mon - Fri 10.30am – 5.30pm)email - Natphob.soc@good.co.uk

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