Relationships 

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Coping with depression

Your partner’s in a mood again. But how do you cope when the off days become weeks, months or even years?

Each year, one in four adults suffer from significant depression, and an increasing number of these are men. Emotionally, they may feel bad about themselves and anxious, angry and panicky. Physically, they may suffer from eating problems, insomnia, feel unable to work, lose all interest in making love. All this isn’t just terrible for the depressed person – it’s also hard for their partners. So what should you do if your partner suffers from depression?

First steps
First you must be aware of what’s happening. Depression can be hard to spot and men, in particular, put on a brave face. If you notice any of the following symptoms, something’s going wrong:

1. He makes ‘put down’ comments that show he feels bad about himself and his life
   
2. He sleeps or eats more or less than usual
   
3. He drinks or takes drugs more than usual
   
4. He’s angry, irritable, nervous, tearful
   
5. He has no energy, fails to go to work, finds it difficult to interact
   
6. He lets himself go, his personal hygiene slips
   
7. He makes catastrophes out of trivial situations – has a doom and gloom philosophy
   

How should you react to these cries for help? Simply listen and keep listening. While it’s tempting to give advice, or tell your partner to pull himself together, this won’t give him the support he needs. Instead, offer a hug. Ask what’s wrong. Then let him talk as much and as often as he needs. That itself could be enough to lift mild depression.

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