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  |  Family & Friends  |  Emotional well-being  |  The happiness workshop: week three
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The happiness workshop: week three

by Susan Quilliam
Happy relationships are the secret of contentment. Create a positive social network

Happy interactions
Research suggests that contented people have rewarding interactions. They have strong friendships, good family lives, good love lives and high job satisfaction. Most importantly, if they need help, they ask for support fast.

Positive relationships
Look around at the people you're close to - your friends, family, loving partner. Make sure your relationships with them are the best you can create. If you want to be happy:

  • Treat people well. Give one hundred per cent to the people you mix with. Make regular contact through emails, by telephone and with cards, if not face-to-face. Make time to socialise with and support your friends. Be proactive in getting people together - if you're no good at throwing parties, then organise a get-together at a local restaurant. Be nice. Never badmouth, whinge or complain; encourage people when they are doing well, offer a shoulder to cry on where needed. Remember, what you give out in life will be what you get back.

  • Build love in your life. A good partnership is one of the key elements of a happy life - but typically, love creates as many challenges as it provides solutions. Many couples break up because partners don't realise that a good relationship takes work. Don't expect daily bliss from love - instead, steadily build trust, communication and good feeling. If you hit real problems, then quickly seek professional help. Counsellors regularly sigh, 'If only that client had come to me earlier, we could have saved their relationship...'

  • Let go when it's time. Many relationships - friendships and partnerships run past their sell-by date before people are willing to let go. Try to weed out the people who aren't on the same wavelength as you and any pessimistic or needy friends that drain your energy. Of course, there will be some people whom you have to keep up with, but aim to give yourself more quality time with compatible people. If you find you lack support or do not have many like-minded friends, network to meet the right people.

    More resources
  • Love Coach (£6.99 plus p&p, ring Vine House Publications 01825 723398, credit card orders only)
  • Relate: Moving on by Suzy Hayman (Vermilion)
  • Visit the Relate website for details of local counsellors


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