Advertisement
Topics
Hot stuff
Newsletters
Promotions
Losing a loved one
continued from page 1
After the initial shock I went into autopilot and took control of the situation as best I could. We had Graham's funeral to arrange - the last gesture we would make for our beloved brother. The funeral was huge, so many of his friends came. It was all so unreal at the time. I got through it, but I felt as though it was happening to someone else, not me.
My sister and I returned home to Wales shortly after. I went back to work, but I just couldn't cope. Fortunately, I had an understanding boss and he arranged for me to have bereavement counselling. My counsellor was a very warm, caring lady, who listened and empathised as I went over and over what had happened. The counselling helped me to accept that my brother had died. On her advice, I also took up art therapy. Most days I would get my paints and brushes out and do watercolours. Then one day I packed up all my art things. That was the turning point for me. I had gone through the whole grieving process, and now it was time to move on with my life. I haven't felt the need of art therapy since.
Desire to help others
I firmly believe that during this period of great sadness and grief a tiny seed was sown. Though I would not act on it for a couple of years, the seed eventually grew into a desire to help others come through what I had gone through. My bereavement counsellor gave me the inspiration to become a counsellor myself and, when an opportunity appeared to train as a Cruse Counsellor, I grasped it. (Cruse is the leading bereavement counselling charity in the UK.)
The course was a wonderful experience, and it helped me make better sense of what I had experienced when Graham died. I learnt that there is a grieving process which each of us needs to go through when we lose someone we love, and this process has four parts to it - the four tasks of mourning.
After the initial shock I went into autopilot and took control of the situation as best I could. We had Graham's funeral to arrange - the last gesture we would make for our beloved brother. The funeral was huge, so many of his friends came. It was all so unreal at the time. I got through it, but I felt as though it was happening to someone else, not me.
My sister and I returned home to Wales shortly after. I went back to work, but I just couldn't cope. Fortunately, I had an understanding boss and he arranged for me to have bereavement counselling. My counsellor was a very warm, caring lady, who listened and empathised as I went over and over what had happened. The counselling helped me to accept that my brother had died. On her advice, I also took up art therapy. Most days I would get my paints and brushes out and do watercolours. Then one day I packed up all my art things. That was the turning point for me. I had gone through the whole grieving process, and now it was time to move on with my life. I haven't felt the need of art therapy since.
Desire to help others
I firmly believe that during this period of great sadness and grief a tiny seed was sown. Though I would not act on it for a couple of years, the seed eventually grew into a desire to help others come through what I had gone through. My bereavement counsellor gave me the inspiration to become a counsellor myself and, when an opportunity appeared to train as a Cruse Counsellor, I grasped it. (Cruse is the leading bereavement counselling charity in the UK.)
The course was a wonderful experience, and it helped me make better sense of what I had experienced when Graham died. I learnt that there is a grieving process which each of us needs to go through when we lose someone we love, and this process has four parts to it - the four tasks of mourning.
previous | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | next
printer friendly
send to a friend
RATE IT
Delicious
Digg
reddit
Facebook
StumbleUpon
iVillage Features
Message Boards
Pregnancy & Baby |
Parenting |
Health |
Diet & Fitness |
Beauty & Fashion|
Relationships |
Home & Garden |
Food & Drink |
Work & Career |
Entertainment
Horoscopes| Message Boards | Quizzes | Newsletters | Join
Horoscopes| Message Boards | Quizzes | Newsletters | Join
© iVillage Limited 2000-2008. All rights reserved. | © iVillage inc. 1995-2008. All rights reserved.
iVillage Ltd is a UK company registered in England & Wales (3837269) at 80-110 New Oxford Street, London WC1 1HB
iVillage Ltd is a UK company registered in England & Wales (3837269) at 80-110 New Oxford Street, London WC1 1HB